❝ I am wanted, I am loved, I am all that is divine in the world. ❞

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.the exalted starseer

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• name L'ehsrel Astra Ythel

• nicknames Lee, Rel, Ehsy, Esra, Ehsrel Eel, Star-Kitten, Astra, Starshine, Beastie, Fallen Star, Astraliel, Hyrrschyr

• age 32 (current)

• gender Genderfluid

• pronouns he/she/they

• species 1/2 Human, 1/4 Sin Eater, 1/4 Paradox

• race Miqo'te, Seeker of the Sun, 1/16 Keeper of the Moon (of distant Lupin descent)

• birthdate 21st Sun of the 6th Umbral Moon (12/21)
  1554, Sixth Astral Era

• sexuality Bisexual

• origin Moraby Bay, Lower La Noscea

• guardian Nymeia, the Spinner

• location Old Sharlayan, Sea of Stars

• class(es) Heritor (RPR/GNB/SGE/RDM)

• voice Regé-Jean Page as Simon in Bridgerton (masculine)
  Avalon Penrose as Megaera in Hades (feminine)

• favorite food Seafood, meat dishes, sweet pastries, baked goods, tropical fruit

• favorite drink Coffee, tea, milk products, rum, whiskey

• time of day Evening

• season Winter

• scent the metallic tang of ozone, with a hint of sweetness, like lightning after it has struck the earth, the scent of energy

• motifs stars, the universe, the ocean, wolves, serpents, butterflies, chrysanthemums, storms, lightning, blood, bones, swords, loyalty, self-love, self-actualization, depression, the stages of grief, unconditional love, the beautiful and the grotesque

.personality

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Quiet and soft-spoken, for all his intelligence Lee struggles with matters of the heart, and prefers to exhibit himself through his actions. He reserves his words for parchment, close friends, and lovers, but when he does speak, it mirrors the poetry and romance of the books that kept him company throughout his childhood.Irrefutably loyal and devoted to the precept of unconditional love, he will spill blood for you, be it his own or that of the foe who would dare harm you. He will even lay down his blade, if you so desire it, but be sure to temper the overprotective beast with a gentle touch or comforting word.He overflows with patience and kindness, never harboring malicious thoughts or judgements. In the defense of others, he is the first to rise, never settling for anything other than fairness and truth. He may be naïve at times, but he cannot deny his heart, not when he scarcely understands it.At times, he can be unpredictable and stubborn to a fault, never sitting still for too long or accepting things in stride. He is not completely free of his anxiety, and may sometimes avoid others and keep to himself when overwhelmed by sound or his own mind. He may also be impulsive or unintentionally callous, his thoughts a tangled mess, but he will always shoulder responsibility.In moments of quietude, he can be found tucked away among the archives of an old library, nose buried in a book, or soaking in a hot bath, lavishing his hair and skin with luxury products. He also enjoys dabbling in alchemy, goldsmithing, cooking, essaying, engineering, and brewing a delicious cup of tea or coffee, among many other hobbies.

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.bear the burden of light

the fall, Born to the same father as Venat, Mixcohuatl first met their half-sister when they arrived at Amaurot at the tender age of 7. Their starry-eyed mother, Citlalicue, sought out knowledge concerning the Cosmos, discontent with confining herself to this so-called paradise forever. With the sacred, ancient magic practiced by their homeland, said to be grounded in the ritualistic usage of blood, Citlalicue labored to venture beyond the limits of their reality. She found success when she invoked an eldritch being drawn to her zeal, who then swept her away from Etheirys to fulfill her desire to be among the Cosmos. Rumor spread that she had been devoured by the abyss, but only Mixcohuatl knows the truth: their mother willingly abandoned them in the name of her dream.The 21-year-old Venat took her sibling under her wing and raised them as she would a child of her own. Annoyed by the Amaurotines' inability to pronounce their name, Mixcohuatl had Venat choose an alias for them, and she chanced upon the name Astraeus. Although she continued to refer to Mixcohuatl by their true name, Mixcohuatl routinely introduced themself as Astraeus with the hope of integrating into society. They feared becoming an outcast like their mother had been, one of the factors behind their mother choosing other worlds over this one.In their adulthood, Mixcohuatl dabbled in various projects, such as the basis for fantasia, alchemical alterations, and what would later be known as the Lupin. They loved wolves so much they often altered their appearance to look like one, much to Hades' chagrin. Still, the two were close, forming a considerable bond along with Hythlodaeus. It was through Hades that the Convocation of the Fourteen took note of Mixcohuatl's intelligence, ambition, and creativity. When Venat nominated Mixcohuatl to take her place as Azem, no one would deny her.When the Final Days came about, Mixcohuatl could not stand idle. Driven by their love for Etheirys, and the nagging curiosity inherited from Citlalicue, they dug up their mother's old journals and grimoires, relics they hoped they would keep buried forever. Desperation took hold as they spent nights scouring for an answer, some sort of ritual that would guarantee Etheirys' salvation. They offered up blood and portions of their bone, hoping to appeal to some eldritch being out there, until finally they attracted the attention of the most malicious one of them all, Arychyr. Impressed by Mixcohuatl's knowledge of the eldritch tongue, said to leave a maddening effect on mundane men, Arychyr thought to experiment on their limits by contaminating them with his ichor. Much to his disappointment, however, the ichor only drove Mixcohuatl into a slow madness, mutating their existence and corroding their transformed state into a being trapped between dimensions. Their soul shattered not long after, and Arychyr left, consigning Mixcohuatl and Etheirys to their doom.It was Iniaremoia, the eldritch Child of Chaos and nemesis to Arychyr, who manifested his own blood with the intent to salvage Mixcohuatl's soul. He arrived too late, however, and was barely able to pact with Mixcohuatl before Hydaelyn sundered the world. The Sundering split Mixcohuatl's soul even further, sending fourteen brittle incarnations across the Shards. These souls were fragile and steeped in the darkest shades of tragedy, doomed to end in death - a result of Arychyr's cruel ichor. With Mixcohuatl's crystallized tears and sorrow, Iniaremoia created the Shepherd of the Stars, Astraeus, a phantom that would live in the metaphysical plane between dimensions often cited as Iniaremoia's home. Here, the Shepherd toiled desperately to save the lives of their incarnations, but they could not, as the power of their dynamis could not reach across dimensions. Iniaremoia attempted to intervene by imbuing the soul of the first incarnation with himself and an alien lycanthrope of his design, Astraliel the Astral Beast, thereby creating the First Paradox. Unfortunately, the First Paradox died beneath the weight of her grief before she could wholly accept Astraliel's love. Although her descendants would come to inherit both Iniaremoia and Astraliel, her soul - Mixcohuatl's soul - did not remain in the bloodline. For the next twelve Paradoxes, this shattered soul traveled from one reincarnation to another, desperate to flee from the forces that would save it.It was the Fourteenth who would turn the tide. As a direct descendant of the First Paradox, the Fourteenth was at last reunited with Astraliel. The beast begged for Iniaremoia and the Shepherd to save him, forcing the Shepherd to cooperate with Iniaremoia once more. This time, Iniaremoia formed an additional pact with Hydaelyn, who also favored the Fourteenth, and brokered an alliance with Midgardsormr. These divine forces colluded with a single goal in mind: to save the life of L'ehsrel Astra Ythel, and restore his soul with the love stripped away by Arychyr's apathetic hand.

birth and childhood, Born on the Winter Solstice to L'malakhei Nunh and L'veyhel Ikhaite, L'ehsrel Tia entered the world frail and mute, a consequence of his fractured soul. The Vipers of Moraby Bay feared he would not survive through the winter, and his own father lamented the stain on his pedigree. He disowned the child, certain that the tiny thing would die, and abandoned his mate for failing to provide a healthy son once again. L'ehsrel's eldest sister, L'serahya, took matters into her own hands by nurturing the boy and imbuing him with her aether, coaxing his own aether to awaken and empower his weak body. The child survived, and although his mother had long since rejected him, his sisters stopped at nothing to raise him themselves.It soon became apparent that although L'ehsrel was quick to learn his letters and numbers, speech did not come so easily to him. He chittered odd sounds in favor of words, and often stared listlessly at nothing, absorbed in his own world. Initially impressed by the child's survival, L'malakhei once more retracted his favor and denounced his son for making a fool out of him. He vowed to never accept L'ehsrel as his flesh and blood and wtihdrew his financial support of the household. A talented midwife and medicine woman, L'serahya peddled her services wherever she could, bringing enough coin to support her siblings herself. As she watched L'ehsrel thrive intellectually, despite his lack of speech, she brought back books and baubles to encourage an appetite for adventure. Anything better than to accept a dismal life locked in a loveless home.When L'ehsrel was about six years old, Galuf Baldesion came to visit L'serahya along with his prodigy, G'raha Tia. L'ehsrel and G'raha quickly took a strong liking to each other and bonded over the seven days Galuf stayed with the Vipers. Although Galuf pleaded for L'serahya to relocate to Old Sharlayan with her siblings, she refused. Her reason: an underground rebellion by the Viper women was in the works, aiming to overthrow and slay L'malakhei for his greed and many transgressions. She could not withdraw her support, not when she wanted to carve her father's heart out with her own two hands. Galuf and G'raha left not long after, and although G'raha had made a promise with L'ehsrel to always remember one another, the rest of L'ehsrel's young years would not prove to be so kind.

adolescence and onward, Disowned by his father and rejected by his mother, L'ehsrel had little support in his life. His only sources of comfort were his sisters and the phantoms who often visited him at night, despite his inability to recognize who they were. Still, the phantoms were kind, and they looked so much like him. Little did he know that these phantoms were his ancestors and the previous Paradoxes, memories granted life by the latent power of his Ethereal Eye.With these strange apparitions guiding him, and his sisters teaching him a variety of life skills, L'ehsrel went on to grow into a lovely young man, beautiful and intelligent, if not reserved and distant even when he at last began to speak. Although some villagers pitied him and were kind, others feared and resented him, convinced he would become the same monster as his father. He paid them little mind - until his 13th year when his snow white hair began to darken into his father's shade of midnight sea blue. As a child, the terrifying image of his father's visible hatred had been engraved into his mind, and seeing the man's face in the mirror was too much to bear, so much he chopped his hair off. His self-hatred increased tenfold when he outgrew the dresses passed down by his sister, and could not find any dresses that fit to his tall, masculine form. In a fit of grief, he shattered a mirror, tore up his dresses with the shards, and wept into his bloody palms until the phantom of the First Paradox lulled him into a gentle sleep.Afterward, the phantoms continued to guide him despite the turmoil in his heart, for they knew tragedy would await him if they allowed his fractured soul to wander. On their advice, he turned his attention to his comforts: reading books, writing poetry, and practicing his magic. He also took up fishing by the docks, helping the vendors carry their stock, and digging for seashells to be used in traditional Viper crafts. Although he covered his face with a hood every time he went out, he found satisfaction in purpose, in being needed. He longed for nothing more than to be useful, all in an attempt to stave off the self-hatred that wanted to see him dead.L'serahya was frequently gone to sell her medicines and attend to expecting parents, and L'daya had left home before L'ehsrel's 13th year. He often lived alone with L'ayda, but the two got on well, exchanging jokes and catching fish and gorging themselves on pineapple. L'ehsrel knew, however, that L'ayda only stayed because of him, even though her sire L'hadrir was prepared to hand over the Cedarwood homestead to her. On his 17th year, he entertained the thought of running away so that she would no longer be burdened by him, but L'serahya returned from her journey with a proposition: that he join the Arcanists' Guild in Limsa Lominsa.He had plenty of talent in the arcane arts, able to conjure arcanima with little effort, and his intense reservoir of aether would prove useful in tests of endurance. After some discussion with L'serahya and L'ayda, he agreed, and packed his belongings. He wasn't sure if this was truly the right choice for him, but he knew no other path, no other option. When he invoked the phantoms for their guidance, the First Paradox only replied with a smile, but it was all he needed to continue. Perhaps driven by some inane sense of pride or desire for closure, he went to his father's home with L'serahya to announce his departure. Offended that this disgrace would sully the air with his presence, L'malakhei snarled, "See to it that you never return, or I shall see that you never draw breath again."In a moment of indignation, L'ehsrel replied, "Why would I ever return to this pathetic excuse for a village ruled by an even more pathetic man?"Outraged, L'malakhei infused his claws with a venomous spell, and slashed L'ehsrel across the face. The venom nearly forced Astraliel out of its dormancy, but L'serahya flushed out the venom, leaving a permanent scar as reminder of L'malakhei's cruelty. It was in that moment that L'serahya and the other women who witnessed the scene unfold knew it would soon be time to act. Once L'malakhei let his guard down, thankful to be rid of his son, they would strike.In the meantime, L'serahya kissed her baby brother's scar, helped load his belongings onto a wagon, and journeyed with him to the Arcanists' Guild. Parting with his sister was difficult, but L'ehsrel felt that he could finally breathe after spending nearly 18 years drowning. In the years that followed, he established himself as an elite student, and honed his abilities as both a healer and arcanist. He was soon befriended by his underclassmen, R'nelmaia Lhea, and the rest was history.Until the Seventh Umbral Calamity struck.(For a summary of the events in MSQ as they happen in L'ehsrel's story, please view the timeline page. Although that page does not include the intricate details concerning Iniaremoia, Astraliel, and the Paradoxes, it at least provides an "ending" to the novelette I have here. If you'd like a more in-depth version of the succeeding events, my DMs are open and I'll be happy to talk your ears off for hours.)